Thursday, February 5, 2009

Things I've learned since becoming a Mom

I can never go anywhere alone. Especially to the bathroom.

According to the little people in my life, I am rich if I have two pennies, a quarter and a some lint in my pocket.

Polly Pocket's shoes fit nicely into a little person's nose. As do tweezers (for shoe removal), small beads from a broken bracelet, several mini M&Ms, fingers & french fries.

Wiping your face is overrated. Shirt sleeves work best. Especially crisp, clean, white ones.

When potty-training a child, you are likely to find undergarments discarded in/around objects where they don't belong. Like under the glass dome of a cake plate, for instance.

When preparing dinner and things get quiet, there's a reason. Usually, that reason involves glitter, broken glass & a watery mess on their bedroom floor. Snow globes don't break themselves, people.

When the phone rings, my little people go seven kinds of crazy. And they get very loud. Well, louder than normal.

I don't have eyes in the back of my head, even though my children think I do. I tell them I see everything, and it usually means I get to the bottom of the glittery, broken glass & watery mess on their bedroom floor.

My little people think packing peanuts do not taste like real peanuts, in case you were wondering.

Eating your vegetables means "accidentally" dropping them, one-by-one, on the floor. Then they're dirty, and we can't eat dirty food.

Remember that embarrassing thing I did last night? Well, my little people remember it. And they're telling everyone at Wal-Mart today.

Just don't talk about body parts or body functions. My little people will talk about it openly in public, even when begged asked not to.

Chewing gum in your sleep is a learned skill. Ask Carys. She has the missing patch of hair to prove it as of this morning.

When trying to remove marker from a painted wall, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is a lifesaver. However, it also removes the seven layers of the previous homeowner's pastel Laura Ashley paint underneath the marker, if you scrub too hard.

Cats don't like toothpaste.
Dogs and Beta fish don't either.

No matter what, the other little person did it.
Just ask one of them. Then ask the other one.

4 comments:

Candace said...

I love this! And every word of it is absolutely true!

Brenda said...

And if you are not rich anymore because the little people have taken the two pennies, the quarter and the lint from your pocket, you can always use your debit card or checkbook for all of their needs and wants.

Nana said...

Amen, sister! You are officially a mom. (and I hate to tell you this, but you're living/loving thru the easy years!)

aunt carmen said...

Enjoy every minute Skye 'cause it goes way too fast. I seem to remember some fast ones you pulled at that age but I won't embarass you here.