Monday, October 9, 2006

my eventful monday morning

so, as far as potty training goes, we're doing great. carys is finally making real progress. but, she still needs help in the wiping department (sorry, there was no way to get around saying that...)

so, this morning, i'm helping her with the aforementioned task, and we're in my bathroom. she's clapping, we're both clapping. toilet flushes. then i hear a man's voice.
okay. i immediately tell carys to stop singing the potty song & we stand in silence.

she looks at me like i'm crazy. (and i probably am. but only a little.)
i hear it again. it's muffled, but i clearly hear a man's voice. i whisper - "carys, stay here. do not come out of the bathroom."
we live way out in the country. all my neighbors are gone for the day. the televisions and radios are all turned off this morning. and it sounded like it was coming from inside the house. i couldn't make it out, but it was definitely a male voice, coming from somewhere in the house.

i am freaked. what do i do? how do i protect my kids from this freak who has broken into my house? where is he hiding? what does he want? why didn't the dogs bark? (right, i locked them in the laundry room so they wouldn't wake cailyn up...)

i try to remember how to load the shotgun because i haven't touched it in ages. i don't know where chad hid the baseball bat for intruders. what am i going to do? i motion for carys to stay in the bathroom. just then, i hear cailyn wailing - and i run straight to her room, my heart pounding in my chest. someone is in my house and they are in cailyn's room!

i get to her room, and find that she is fine - just waking up form her nap. she smiles at me, i pick her up, and continue my walk thru the house.
he's hiding somewhere, i just know it. i really should put the baby down in case i find him...i search. and search. and search. i threaten, aloud, to call the police. several times. and nothing happens. no crazed man leaps from a partially closed closet door.

by this point, i've already imagined the fiend to look much like nick nolte's mug shot.

i'm breathing hard. i'm shaking. i'm going to get carys out of the bathroom (she playing with lotions and thoothpast by this point & has smeared it all over the mirror. crafty kiddo.)

i'm calming down. but i'm still cautious. he must have left when he saw i was hellbent on making him pay for breaking into my house.

we all go into the kitchen.
and what do i see?
the answering machine is blinking.

i am such a moron.
the phone didn't ring because carys turned the ringers off, apparently.
the voice i heard was chad's telling me he had called someone to repair the thermostat, and they would be here at 2.

it's okay to laugh at me. i understand. it's funny. but it wasn't funny at the time.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Too funny!!